You are getting me today and rather early since I was off again today due to weather. (yes a dance was done this morning as work was called off for the second time this week)
What I am contemplating is ice, this is especially prevalent today when the world was for several hours coated in the stuff. What an interesting outward reflection of a personal inner state as if somehow my little voice called the frozen world into being. A silly notion, but so compelling today. I went out and crunched around in it for a time, letting the rain soak my coat and the cold wet air fill my sore lungs (some kind of cold that is refusing to leave me, so today I got armed with antibiotics). The world was encased in light reflections muted at the lack of direct sun but the possibility of the radiance was still there. Everything looked so fragile and delicate; little tree branches coated in ice, cold and the potential of spring very hidden. It is a wonder that the seasons can change at all but they will.

Today I feel loss and lost but I am determined not to. I am determined to have the best month ever and feel my luck changing. All my stubborn resolve cannot ease the sorrow of what is and what will eventually be. Loss is loss and as the wheels of time churn away, I cannot stop them nor slow the progress of the eventual end and this above all bothers me. I do not know what I will do, but I know that I will have to just go on. I am stronger then all of this worry really. It strikes me with a desperation that I do not want to feel and I find myself wanting to free the branches of their icy sleep. I know that you cannot rush spring and it will come both in its beauty and its sadness. Today ice is the nature of the world like my soul that is just starting to crack free of it. Can there be anything worse then lack of change? Can there be anything worse then change? No peace here today,only restlessness, but tomorrow has its own way free.