Saturday, May 31, 2008


I found these three baby opossums clinging to their dead mother in the road this morning. Most of their siblings were not so lucky and were crushed on the road. I warmed them up cleaned them off (they were covered in blood) and took them to a wildlife rehabilitator since I am not currently doing rehabilitation. This time of year you should check dead opossums for babies, they often survive the crash.
... And no matter how careful I watch them,
they take new shape,
escaping my concentrations,
they slip and disperse
and extinguish themselves.
They melt before I half unfathom their forms.
Just as fast, a few bones
disconnecting beneath us.
It is too late, I fear, to call these things back.
Not in this language.
Not in this life.

-from Clouds by Louise Erdrich

Friday, May 30, 2008

He saw that to lose everything at the edge of such a glorious eternity is far sweeter than to won by plodding through a cautious, painless, and featureless life. A true survivor isn't someone with nothing to lose. He has everything precious to lose. But at the same time, he's willing to bet it all on himself. And it makes what he has that much richer. Days stolen are always sweeter than days given.

Laurence Gonzales- Deep Survival

Thursday, May 29, 2008

A Woe

Larger than the sky
That squats upon the vast horizon
There is a woe

Pressing down
On this house of stone.
It thickens in the air of this room

It is as though
One loved as much-no, more-
Than oneself were trying

To thrust away
With small hands
Stifle of the heavy air

While in the dark
I lie
Pinioned, all my strength

Useless to prize
The weight of heaven
From his eyes.

-Daniel Hoffman

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

sexy sleeping dunlins

I cleaned my studio and I am breaking out of my rut. I have to stay positive and to do that I am putting my focus on my work. I have much to accomplish and a new painting begins to desire to be born. They call to me when it is time for them and despite the effort they always take I cannot turn away from the call of it. It is like preparing for a journey, you get everything in order, pack up your stuff and set your sights on the open road. It is a trip I always get excited about taking. Where will this one take me? I am hopeful it is a road of joy this time with a dramatic happy ending, Hollywood style.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

In the net

Was it only a minute

That you stood there

Over me as I sat

And I could not look up

Monday, May 26, 2008

A song I am listening to here
More Than Once

In this tree are no indications
Of the chosen. Only the shine and black
Where lightning struck, where I lean as if

Some answer has been given, and now my fingers
Move across the mark to learn the site
Where this will never happen again. And yet

This too is wrong; once started, the electric
Easily returns to the carved place. The wound
Wants more wound, until the vein that fire enters

Becomes what cannot hold, what is then destroyed,
Which looks again and again for more weather,
The random dust, the illumination of being

Used, and us trembling at the ruins,
At the remains of one who took on such light.

-Sophie Cabot Black

Sunday, May 25, 2008



by: Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)

      H why is heaven built so far,
      Oh why is earth set so remote?
      I cannot reach the nearest star
      That hangs afloat.
      I would not care to reach the moon,
      One round monotonous of change;
      Yet even she repeats her tune
      Beyond my range.
      I never watch the scatter'd fire
      Of stars, or sun's far-trailing train,
      But all my heart is one desire,
      And all in vain:
      For I am bound with fleshly bands,
      Joy, beauty, lie beyond my scope;
      I strain my heart, I stretch my hands,
      And catch at hope.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

the graduates

For a moment I will reflect on where I come from a pat on the back to cheer me up since I am melancholy.
6 years ago today-I lived in a house where the walls were falling in with huge areas of water damage and the paint was peeling off of the ceilings. There were giant piles of raccoon feces in the attic that would leach down the walls when it rained heavy. There was no heat in the house so it would be freezing at night and damp. The kitchen had no cupboards and the floor was ripped up linoleum. I did not know how I was going to afford food for dinner or lunch the next day. I lived with someone who threatened to kill me if I ever left and he kept a rifle by the bed every night. I worked at a wildlife center a job which I loved but it had no retirement, no real paycheck (it was paid under the table) and a maniac boss who would constantly berate me. I could not pay my bills or buy anything really. The prospect of the future was bleak as I could not find a good job. I had no health care so I always hoped I would not get sick and when I did I just dealt with it.

I was trained as an artist but always felt lacking since I could not work and had no direction for my work. So I believed that I had to let go of that dream entirely and do something practical.

So wonder no more why I worked so hard to do my best, why I would not complain when I was just beat tired and worked anyway. Why I loved every minute of having the opportunity to earn my MFA and reach to a dream I will never surrender again. I have earned today with a damn lot of hard work and the road to get here was long. When I believe in something I set my sights on it and I do not let go, I walk towards it, sometimes run, sometimes crawl but I get there. So when I walked across that stage today I set my sights on where I need to go from here. Yet celebrate with me because I have completely changed my life in 6 years and will do so again.

Friday, May 23, 2008


And you think I will be over you
you who just grasped this pen
removed my dears, hope you caught it

-The Printer by the Corbyhawk herself

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

A young friend asked me what a druid is.
He was very serious and generally a grumpy little guy so I sat next to him and looked him in the eye. Well I said that is a very complicated question. So I went through an in depth description of historical vs. mythical ideas on what a druid is. He asked me if druids could do magic? I said they used to believe that druids could control the weather, in some myths. Well he said if we happen to find a druid we will have to see if he can make it rain on a very sunny day, no clouds and then we will know for sure. I agreed with him that was a good plan.
Hear me life,
I refuse to not live you
I refuse to let this sorrow make me not feel
I will feel the beauty of things
I will love with intensity
and not be afraid of losing
I will not hide my face away
in fear of breaking
when life asks me to step up I will
I will step up
I will not let fear rule me
I will not let other people's fear rule me
I will look you in the eye
I will live and see beauty
I will laugh anyway

Monday, May 19, 2008

I held them tight for a moment when they came to school late today after the big fire at their home. I am so glad you are ok I said and then walked down the hall in tears. They were alive and I was so grateful. Still such sadness today, as one of my students died in a fire. He was only 17 years old. I had him last year in my class. Tomorrow there will be more tears and I am just horribly angry tonight. Enough, damn it enough already.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Flowers for A

Come said the Muse,
Sing me a song no poet yet has chanted,
Sing me the universal.

In this broad earth of ours,
Amid the measureless grossness and the slag,
Enclosed and safe within its central heart,
Nestles the seed of perfection.

By every life a share or more or less,
None born but it is born, conceal'd or unconceal'd the seed
is waiting.

Whalt Whitman Birds of Passage from Leaves of Grass

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Spectacled Owl

I have been so incredibly busy and I am sort of nursing some kind of cold. I was in the studio from about 8:30-5:30 and I did not get much accomplished. One of those spinning your wheels kind of days, the kind of day where you make many small mistakes. These leading to major frustrations later on. Life has been a ride lately, up and then down again. I have so very much to do in a short time and by this time next week everything will be different again. I am determined to stay in a holding pattern and just go with the flow. I love working on my art, even on bad days. I never seem to want to leave the studio, even when I have not eaten for hours. I will miss that big print studio, it is one of my favorite places to be.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

I have had an almost magic day, almost in most ways it was good.
An artist asked me to pose for a portrait class he is teaching, he was almost awkward when he asked and I surprised my self by saying yes. Yes I would, clothing on of course but sure, why the hell not. To get looked upon, gazed upon today by him as if he had discovered something felt so damn good. I held my head up, yeah I am. Then later I had a great conversation with some new friends that went into the evening. Out of the box for a moment, I got out and could tenativley spread out my wings a bit, the ones I normally hide behind me. The ones I do not normally claim possession of, oh those lets carry on shall we. Droll droll droll. Not tonight I did not have to play dumb-nope. GOD it was great. My friend wondered if I had colored contacts in, my eyes were so blue today. Nope its a magic day and I am gaining my strength to shine. I am plain sick of all this darkness about.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

How am I?
Surprisingly I am doing ok, yeah lots of crap lately. Big and serious stuff, along with the just generally annoying (my car's engine light is on, it is only 3 years old grrrrr) So I dig deep and tuck in and go on. That is it in a nutshell. Am I disappointed, yes terribly. Am I sad, sure who wouldn't be, do I feel like giving up, yeah I do. I might, just can't place too much hope on a maybe. Nothing is clear on this end of things. So I work, it keeps me sane. On that note, I am off to work now. Be well...

Monday, May 12, 2008


Saying this is like speaking to the wind
as if it will carry my voice to your ear
its hush as I say your name
and still I dream it
still I wake to voice you
to say those words
however wide the worlds
that breath blows in
as it travels across
rocks, ocean, wide plains of grass
your name echoed
a thousand times
in leaves of wheat
in the sinking whoosh
of the sunset
hear me voice you
calling out
calling you home
all the world stops
what reaches my waiting
but the sound of my own name.

-kaw kaw Corbyhawk

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Mom Falcon

Just in time for mother's day-check out a falcon camera and watch mom with her five eyases (babies in falcon speak) right here!

Saturday, May 10, 2008


You were my death:
you could be held,
when everything else fell.


Friday, May 09, 2008

I swallowed the past
I am tired of not feeling beautiful
I am tired of being ignored
I am tired of not being seen
I said it and the air hung empty

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

A hand moves, and the fire's whirling takes different shapes,
Triangles, squares: all things change when we do.
The first word,"Ah," blossomed into all others.
Each of them is true.

-From Rilke Singing Images of Fire

A cool program on the origins of flowers, I saw the other night has an interesting website here

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Monday, May 05, 2008

In my dream it is always May
and we fall together
on the backs of wildflowers
that wave their faces above us
I find your mouth
and move under your body
In my dreams I am flawless
and you know of my desire
matching it
an oriole calls with a clear melody
the day stays at dusk unending
In my dream you are always May
your eyes as I have greeted
you a hundred times
I do not forget
there is no leaving here
In my dream you are mine
for this sweet moment
our lives cross and it is endless
nothing holds you away
a woodpecker drums my pulse
as it races under your lips
there is no winter here
no advancing summer
In my dreams I am always May
keeper of birds, holder of your true heart
eternal giving
the warm earth itself that opens for you
and bears you renewed
In my dream there is no goodbye
look look here
there are no secrets
I have given you every map
but still you do not come forward
In my dream I do not dream alone
there is no reason
there is no chain to keep me from saying it
out to you-to air -to anyone
in my dream you hear me and echo my longing
but the heart will eventually catch up to the head
the naive heart-the lost seeker
that finds the edges of logic
and bumps off bleeding
how cheerlessly the mind demands
the heart to reconsider
how the heart begs the mind
for mercy for more hope
as it sinks
still believing this one will return
even as the day is ending
that bird calls again and leaves at dusk
the heart calls after it
see, see,
he made this poem.

-by the Corbyhawk herself (this one probably could use some edits and it is slightly over the top but what the hell, here it is)

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Kites in a pairing display

Our eyes move between us, string of
Each end held by the other, taut, quivering.

-Sophie Cabot Black