no matter how much I want it, no one comes
so I cry alone on the floor of my studio
and pick myself up
wipe off my face
and go on
no one holds me here
there is no spirit angel to guide me
just a collection of paintings
and a stained carpet
my forever is an illusion
remembered in paint a dying language
insignificant and unyielding
it is not a real future
it is not a warm embrace
a loving smile with a kiss
just so
no the house is silent
like the end of one heartbeat before the next one
It is not a mystery they alone stand to comfort me
I have given them my time not friends,
not to love,
the world goes on but somehow today
I cannot
now even they are gone from me
how can I translate their meaning
the brush falls from my hands
and streaks the canvas
like my tears
I can no longer paint pretty dreams
-Corby
3 comments:
forever is always an illusion, Corby.
Only because we have no true idea that it is real.
So, we create forever ourselves.
Be it pretty dreams or nightmares.
Paint what is in you. I believe doing that will release it and make room for new forevers.
As painful, dark and sad as this poem is... I love it because I can relate completely to the feelings.
It is a beautiful poem and so very sad, I can feel your loneliness and your need to be held and loved, I can feel your want of comfort, I can feel your tears and the sadness that you feel...I have been there, I am there.
But anyone who can write words as beautiful as these cannot give up, you must go on and paint what you are feeling whether it be pretty or dark like now, just let it out.
I read something very profound yesterday written by a fellow blogger regarding the future, the coming of another summer..."Faith is, that Summer will come again" and the comment made "Faith is not knowing that it will come but that you will own it when it does"...so don't give up dearest Corby you have a future, your forever is not an illusion you have so much to look forward to and you will know it when you find it, its in yourself. ♥
I will never give up ladies, I have too much to do in this world to let anyone, loved or not stop me.
I needed to vent and regroup, it is how I manage through the days.
-Corby
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