Yes I miss him, sure I do. I would not have felt so much to be able to turn it off and walk so easily away. It was all wrapped up in my work and growth, so much more. How could you think I would be the callous one and just walk away. Of course I had to protect myself and really there is an innocence to it, you are my friend. I am surrounded by hours of work but none of it is reaching me today, none of it. It does not tell that story, the one you so abruptly ended with non-response after all those years. I was good and so were you. I am insulted that you exited so quickly and never responded. What did I do to deserve that cruelty? I am not dead, I am building a life over here, why should I not have what you have? A woman painter, everyone thinks that will end when you try to build a life, but painting is that life. Mostly men say that,but I am sick of it really. Sick of having that fear, no it is not over or ending. It continues and grows, changes away from you. He looked at me with such distain this a-hole of a guy I work with, like now he cannot posess because I am full and fertile and wonderful. I am happier without the longing because it is more sensible and I am tired of it. Yet I do miss him terribly and would love to spend the time catching up, laughing with him again and being there to admire him as I do. I rather enjoyed making him happy as he deserves and loving him as if he were a part of my own family. I miss that, sometimes rather terribly.