Pelicans came today, flying out of the empty gray sky.  Four of them gliding over me as I looked up.  I let it go today and said it cannot be.  I opened my hands and threw my love up to the sky and thanked him for the gift of our time together.  Four pelicans where they should not be, too far East heading West. Who are you?  Where are you going?  What comes tomorrow?  Where are we flying? This is now and I will trust.

Even in your arms
I was not safe
from your doubt
you beat me with it
over and over again
its coldness
held us prisoner
of another cruel remark
and I was ready
to give you everything.

kaw kaw by the Corby

The owls came to us and I did not know how much they were going to rip me out of my life. Their gold eyes held the colors of the sunset, the colors thrown on you in that truck.  The colors reflected in the blue of your eyes as you looked at me.  We were both ready to change and as I embraced you, I knew I could not return to the way things were ever again.  Now I have left you and the memory of those cold days we found each other in the winter landscape.  I wonder what will happen when the snow comes again?  Will the owls return to make me face myself yet again and die the death they promise?  Or will the fields be empty of them?  I know I will look for them as I will look for you and your white truck.  I will scan the horizon for the falling sun and remember the taste of your mouth.  I will always mourn that life could not make us a pair the way I wanted to be.  Goodbye is the tragedy of time. In a world that marches ever forward I can't manage to stop the pace, I can't manage to go back to that first kiss.  The one that opened me like a door to all the worlds I was missing.  So today is empty of you and tomorrow will be as well.  You may never understand why I had to take care of my own business first, because I didn't then.  I had to close all the doors before I could truly let you in.  I needed to know I was doing this for myself and not for you.  I could never expect you to understand why or wait for me. You have waited long enough, as I have.   Lifetimes, centuries, years, minutes, hours.  We had it once while those gold eyes watched us.  We had something people search for their entire lives and never find.  Maybe there will be owls come winter and they will greet me in the empty fields.  Maybe I will see your white truck sitting on the side of the road watching them too and remembering us.

Rough Legged Hawk

The Hawk

Your wings are like souls

as you float

within the landscape of sky

tipping over the axis of land.

Elemental in your wandering

my heart wishes to follow

the distortion of all things

scaling down.

Dropping cares moment by moment

on my rooted feet I watch.

Gravity

You sweep down then up

tip over the trees

and disappear from view.

By the Corby Hawk 

. 

the Lonely

wind

i am not allowed to long for you

the wind has been endless
raging over and to you
your sentences left falling off
married to married to
your un-seperate self
it is easier to want to hate
not longing howling
shaking trees moving everything
who was i?
blind by tossed ash
the dust of what i had
neglected
pale like breath in comparison
to the gale
when i lost him
i left
your hands held no knowledge
to the songs of his blasts
that shook me
and carried me
until at last
i broke

corby

Bird Left Behind
BY SOPHIE CABOT BLACK

 As for her, the circumstances must be ordinary
And so the return.
Door unlocked. The path mowed
Right to the oiled gate; the pasture

Cleared of stone and alder. All untouched
Enough to enter. The man or woman
Off down the valley or working above

Treeline. No other sound but a few strays
Hurrying through the dusk as if the end
Will begin, certain and with nothing

 More to say. She does not know she does not know.
Having come back to find her kind
And none being left she took herself up
 Into a tree unclear what to do next save only
Sing the song she wanted sung back to her.

So I will write this to the Corbyhawk although I was once the Corbyhawk in my vision I was blind I thought for a moment but it was gone and now I am shaking myself thinking what a silly fool am I?

My enraged talent Bites off its tail Circling around and around Itself it is ultimately doomed To fail... I miss my muse Maybe next sat??

I build this shack
and call it love
hang out cheap plastic baubles
to tempt the eye
Falling through floorboards
It cannot hold you up.
I hold this lie called hope
that someone will come in
and re-model.

By the Corbyhawk

Pomegranate on my lips
I had no idea
your sweetness
was a death sentence

Offered by your hands
for a lifetime
I was forced to return to you
and once again feel the agony of our parting

To re-live the moment
when I looked into your eyes
and found the echoes of my own soul

Now ripped forth
into the kingdom of the living
dry and sun worn
the corn is dying on the plant

Once this was your place
we walked in the tall grass
you offered me the food from your lips
and proclaimed it sacred 
The raw starchy kernels
burst under my teeth
filling my mouth
with the milk of life

How did we turn to dying?
You offering the fruit that keeps me here forever.

 -Corbyhawk as Persephone

Afar away the light that brings cold cheer
Unto this wall, - one instant and no more
Admitted at my distant palace-door
Afar the flowers of Enna from this drear
Dire fruit, which, tasted once, must thrall me here.
Afar those skies from this Tartarean grey
That chills me: and afar how far away,
The nights that shall become the days that were.

Afar from mine own self I seem, and wing
Strange ways in thought, and listenfor a sign:
And still some heart unto some soul doth pine,
O, Whose sounds mine inner sense in fain to bring,
Continually together murmuring) —
'Woe me for thee, unhappy Proserpine'.
— D. G. Rossetti

Pomegranate
on my lips
I had no idea
your sweetness
was a death sentence




-kaw kaw kiryee by the Corbyhawk herself
who misses you, the one who is still here still marking time in moments you

I love you and I hate you
I hate you because I still love you
I love you because you are not here
I hate you because you are not here
I hate you because time is passing
I love you because time is passing
I love you are not mine
I hate you are not mine
I hate her she is yours
I wanted to be better
I wanted to rip down the stars for you
I wanted to stand at your feet and praise you
I wanted to be your muse your moment your future
I wanted to be my own future
I wanted to find you and discover someone in my work
I wanted to be less alone
I wanted you to hear my voice see my voice
I want to see you
but I won't because I have to hate you
it is easier then heartbreak
I know heartbreak
It stings the teeth
rips the day is leaving
love and lost love and lost again again
I lost my mouth my eyes my words
I say nothing again and again nothing

GATHER ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying:
And this same flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow will be dying.                                        Robert Herrick

daisy

Saying this is like speaking to the wind
As if it will carry my voice to your ear
its hush as I say your name
or like you hearing my words
in a bird's song
the whistle of notes a perfect melody
and still I dream it
still I wake to voice you
to say those words
However wide the worlds
that breath blows in
it travels
across rocks, oceans,
wide plains of grass
your name echoed
a thousand times
in the leaves of wheat
in the sinking whoosh of the sunset
Hear the voice
calling out
calling you home
stand in this place and hear me
All the world stops
What reaches my waiting ear,
the sound of my own name.

By the Corbyhawk herself