I have decided that my case of the blahs, the mopes, being generally down is in fact a way to disguise fear. I am in fact afraid, I crave change but I am afraid of it at the same time. It is easy to continue on with the disappointments I have grown to expect in my life. Hope is generally avoided as it can lead to immense pain, but it also means that I am not taking the risks I should be. I have grown lethargic and pessimistic which is not my true nature. So easy to fall into the trap of the day to day, the expected routine, the path everyone sees your life heading down. How unexpected to go out and alter that road, which requires more effort then just listing on doesn't it? Of course one cannot see as clearly down that other path, it goes through more diverse terrain, unexpected forests and it sometimes does not seem so clear. It calls me and I will stop wallowing in my beliefs of what I cannot have and actually try to reach for what I want. Isn't it about time I showed some faith in my abilities? I can do this and I believe in it after all, so very much so. The thing is about others who want me to follow their path into oblivion, they cannot stand the idea that there can be something else beyond the routine of empty days. I see it, so hey grab my hand and lets be extraordinary together.