I am a basket case today. I am already incredibly nervous about hanging this show and the whole process I have to undertake in the next week or so. It makes my stomach twist up and my face is flushed with stress. I just want it to be perfect, the work to look so good and show how much effort I have put into it. I want to make sure it is an excellent show and I care so damn much about it. I want the ending to reflect all of the emotion I have placed into it. This show is really me hanging my heart out there for all to see. What I really fear is the end of it. The knowledge that when it is done, it is done. I know I have to carry all of the learning and love I have placed so carefully there into the future, but I tell you I have lived these past years. I have been so happy under that steady gaze and grew towards the warmth of it. I hate to ever see it pass out of my life, please say that this will not be the end. I cannot endure the idea of returning to who I was before, not after all this. Not after painting birds, picturing flowers and all this falling....